Tween Talk

Sometimes parents think their tweens would rather be with their friends than their dads and moms, but more than a third of tweens (5th-8th graders) wished they could spend EVEN MORE time with their parents.

Why the discrepancy?

Paul, inspired by God, wrote in Ephesians 6 that fathers aren’t to provoke their children to anger. Usually, the 10-15yo is exactly the age where said kids are easily provoked.

And a lot of that provocation is a result of a child or parent’s reactionary attitude.

Some points to keep in mind when talking to your tween.

1. Do take an interest in what is happening in your the life of your tween – that means what’s happening at school, at gymnastics, at church. (That also means more than what she’s learning. What silly thing happened in class? Why did the middle school group decide to go on a hayride instead of bowling?)

2. Don’t spend the entire time you’re talking to your tween issuing critical comments such as “Sit up. Stand straight. Comb your hair, etc.”

3. Do involve your tween in your activities. (Kids say they would be willing to do things they don’t necessarily like to do if that means more time with their parents.) Invite your son to go along with you to the home improvement store. Ask his opinion as to what color paint to buy for the family room. Invite your daughter to the grocery store and have her pick out groceries for a couple of family meals.

4. Don’t accuse without knowing the whole story. Instead of starting a conversation with “I thought I told you to get your homework done before you watched TV,” simply ask  “Is your homework done?”

5. Do ask for their help. Let them know that you see them as real people with real opinions and abilities.

6. Don’t react to their actions with a sarcastic comment. “Oh, how come you’re setting the table? You in trouble at school or something?”

7. Do let them know how much you love them.

8. Do let them know that the Lord has loved them for all eternity.