When a Child in Your Club is Sick

We live in a tough world and sometimes those tough things come into our Awana clubs. A situation many clubs have faced is the serious illness or accident involving a clubber. Situations like this can cause clubbers to ask a multitude of questions and for parents and leaders to wonder what they can do to help the hurting family.

Families handle things differently and there are no always-right answers. Talk with your pastor, commander and the child’s parents (if possible) and find out what is needed in the specific circumstances.

Some guidelines …

1. Remember no one should share medical information without the parent’s (or patient’s) permission. The HIPAA laws have made everyone, including churches, a lot more conscious of this. Although the laws don’t directly apply to many of the situations at your church, it’s always good to err on the side of caution. HIPPA laws do affect some church situations, however, so be aware.  Here’s some info from a church administration website.

Once you have permission …

2. Pray. Pray that the doctors have wisdom. Pray that the family is comforted by the support of their friends. If the child’s family are Christians, you can pray that they’ll find peace in the sovereignty of God. If the family doesn’t know Christ, you can pray that the clubbers will be a testimony through their friendship.

3. Be honest. Don’t promise that the child will get better – you don’t know that. Many adults look back on childhood situations like this as the moment they’ve walked away from their faith because a promise Dad or Mom made didn’t happen. Translation: God didn’t listen to my prayers.  Not true. We live in a messed-up, destructive world. People (even children) get sick. God does hear our prayers and promises to comfort us and walk through tough times with us. He understands the messed-up conditions of the world better than we do. (Of course, if the injury is something like a broken leg, a positive out look is fine. “Most broken legs get better, but he’ll need to take time to rest so the bones can heal.”)

4. No one knows what to say. Most people feel uncomfortable talking to someone who is going through a tough time. Parents may say to you, “I would like to take Joey to visit Jamie, but I don’t what to say.”

Tell the parent (and remember yourself) that sometimes it’s enough just to be there. And sometimes it’s enough to admit to the sick child’s parents that you don’t know what to say. At least you care enough to say something.  Feeling awkward and admitting you are tongue-tied is so much better than staying away and not saying anything at all.

5. Visit. If the child is allowed to have visitors – especially if it’s a long, drawn out illness – encourage clubbers to visit. Of course, you need to call first and make sure it’s ok.  Often, with many illnesses, there’s a lot of waiting time – waiting between doctor’s appointments, between radiation and chemo, waiting for test results. A friend’s visit can do a lot in passing the time.

Don’t prolong the visits at first, just a quick hello. Let the healthy child become used to the situation.  “Here’s some soup/cookies/casserole we made for you.” True the child might have some sickness where he’s on a strict diet and you might not be able to accommodate that – but other siblings and parents need to eat. The mom might appreciate an offered spaghetti casserole so she can concentrate on the special food and the needs of her sick child.

When the kids become use to the situation, you could have one or two of them spend an hour or so reading together or playing a game with the sick child. Take your cues from the parents.

6. Make cards. Give your clubbers supplies to be creative and make a pile of homemade cards. Instead of “get well” cards, encourage the clubbers to make “riddle cards,” sharing different riddles with their friend. You can find kid joke books in the library or kid joke sites on line.

Clubbers could also share news or a favorite Bible verse. Or they could draw pictures of their favorite verse. (Sharing and illustrating a verse might help your own child learn his/her verses as well.)

Make the cards cheerful and brightly colored. Let the child know he is missed and not forgotten.

7.  Remember the child when others have forgotten. Often everyone is willing to help when a child first gets sick, but as time goes on, people get busy and forget. Cancer (and other serious illnesses) can require long-term treatment and the longer it goes, the more the family will be under stress and strain. Encourage your clubbers’ families to continue to show kindness to the family.

8. Take two or three clubbers to the child’s house and spend some time playing games, watching DVDs, etc.  Some parents will want to visit the sick child with their child, but other clubbers might want to visit but don’t have an adult to go along with them. With another leader, take two or three clubbers to the sick child’s house to play a game or watch a DVD. (Be sensitive about the DVDs you choose. Choose funny, not a children’s classic about a dying dog.)

9. Skype or Facetime club. Occasionally (or every week if you want) Skype or Facetime club so the child can feel like he’s part of what’s going on.

Children (and adults) might not be comfortable visiting someone who is seriously ill, but giving them the opportunity will not only help the person who is sick feel better but also be a valuable help.