Overwhelmed: How to Encourage Tired Parents of Preschoolers

It’s tough to be a preschool parent.

You’ve met them before – disheveled, locked in a blank stare, robotically moving through life, making occasional unintelligible noises…. No, I’m not talking about zombies– I’m talking about parents of preschoolers.

There’s a comedian that talks about how overwhelming parenting can be. He explains that having a fifth kid is feeling like you are drowning, and someone reaches over and hands you a baby.

I also happen to be one of these parents, which is why I can personally testify to feeling like a zombie as I go for weeks without a full night of sleep. Life as a preschool parent is exhausting!

Preschool parents love their kids. They love them, and they are in a stage of parenting marked by physical and emotional exhaustion.

It’s tough to be a preschool leader.

Besides being a preschool parent, I have also lead and volunteered in preschool ministry.  It’s been challenging at times to engage with preschool parents about the discipleship of their children. I’ve seen preschool kids have profound moments in their church classes and I’ve struggled to communicate this to their parents in the few minutes after class, or on a take-home sheet. As a leader, you may feel helpless to know how to best encourage preschool parents in the very limited amount of space you can occupy in their already overwhelmed life.

So, what can we do as leaders and volunteers to support these exhausted parents of preschoolers?

Parenting is both terrifying and motivating

The National Parent Survey conducted in 2015 by a group called ZERO TO THREE interviewed parents of children ages 0 to 5 about what they think and how they feel about parenting. Click on the link to read more about this interesting study. When acknowledging that the first 5 years of a child’s life are very important, parents explained how they felt about this fact. They were asked if it motivated them, terrified them, or both motivated and terrified them equally. Through this survey they discovered that 58% of parents find this fact both motivating and terrifying to a variety of degrees.

Did you catch that? This preschool stage is both motivating and terrifying to parents!

What does this mean for us?

The happy news for us who care about the discipleship of preschoolers is that behind that tired face is a parent who sincerely cares about their kids, is motivated to love them well, and wants to hear any insight that you have. They also go through times of being terrified that what they are doing isn’t enough, and that’s also an important place for you to step in. Many parents struggle with feeling insecure and guilty about not living up to their own ideal of what their parenting should look like. Just a few clicks on social media will show them a whole variety of parenting ideals. The biggest thing they may need is to refocus on God, and live by grace in His expectations for them. If you work or volunteer with preschool children, you have an important opportunity to affirm and encourage parents.

Remember that parents are also your ministry if you care about their kids

These parents of preschoolers often walk around with thirsty souls, wishing for more engagement with God and His word than they feel like they have time and space for. When you see them, ask them how they are doing, and how you can pray for them. Share a verse that’s been meaningful to you, and let even this small bit of God’s word seep into their parched soul. Tell them God loves them and is proud of the ways they seek to honor Him in their parenting. Be vulnerable, and be full of grace and understanding. Don’t have time to do that with all of them? At least try to greet them by name, and let them know you’re glad they made it today. It is no small feat to get preschool children out the door to any event, and they did it! You never know if the parent you are talking to just weathered a kid meltdown in the car on the way there, or is surviving on very low levels of sleep this week.

Keep it clear and simple

We can seek to honor the exhausted parents of preschoolers by keeping all our communication with them very simple. At the bare minimum, what do you want to make sure all the parents in your ministry or class hear from you on a particular week? Often, this may just be a short one-sentence summary of the lesson the kids learned, and maybe the memory verse. Clarify this for yourself, and then decide how you can best communicate it to each parent. Some creative ideas I’ve seen include: printing a sticker (yay for repurposing mailing labels) that say “Today I learned…” and writing the lesson summary there to stick to each child’s shirt by their nametag. Consider putting a big sign by the door of the classroom that has the lesson summary posted (sometimes handwriting catches parents eyes better than printed text). Even if you use email communication, try your best to keep it short with bold lettering on the parts you really want parents to notice. By the way, did you know Awana is revamping the Parent Pause newsletter? Stay tuned for more info! If your church uses Facebook, post encouraging notes or helpful articles or videos for parents. Parents may not take advantage of all these resources, but that’s ok. Remember they are exhausted and have very limited time.

Remember the big picture

When we talk about ministry to preschool children and their parents, let’s remember that our goal is relational discipleship. This happens best in a context that has both high Scripture engagement, and high relational engagement.

How can you encourage and prioritize the connection of these two things with your club’s children and parents?

Set reasonable expectations

What do you need most from preschool parents in your particular class setting? Assume you get one thing to ask of them for now. Is it that they work with their child during the week for five minutes on memorizing a verse? Do you want them to complete one at-home activity with their child, like “Under The Apple Tree?” Is it that they try to arrive on time for the start of class? For preschool parents, these can feel like big requests, so make it as clear as possible what you need and why. Avoid any guilt-inducing language that may overwhelm them. Instead, make an expectation seem more like a fun and achievable challenge to meet.

You are needed!

Remember that if you are involved in the discipleship of young children, you are also a needed voice in the lives of their parents. You get to share Christ’s love with these parents in a time when they are feeling terrified and motivated in the middle of an overwhelming season of parenting.