The Real Wins in a Time of COVID:n Embracing Failure, Finding Freedom in Christ
How would you answer someone who asked: “What has been your biggest ‘win’ during quarantine?”
To be honest, I don’t know how I would answer. I don’t like that identifying a “win” assumes there has been a great deal of losing.
See, I’ve lived every day of my life trying to avoid messing up. I am naturally wired to want that which is broken to be made whole. If I can avoid the breaking part, I’ve achieved true success. I have boasted of my uncanny ability to learn from the mistakes of the people around me without ever having to make that mistake myself. It’s the perfect process, right? Watch, learn, repeat.
Here’s the problem: By avoiding any type of mistakes, I have kept myself from experiencing the full goodness of God.
Time, unavoidable errors, and maturity have taught me that to simply watch and learn is to miss out on living. Realities like unmet expectations, hardship, and death are cruel reality checks; they wake me up to my incompetency, my inability to be like God and “have it all together.”
There, I said it. My sin goes all the way back to the garden, to a time when humanity equated reflecting God [imago dei] to replacing God. When ruling and reigning with God was insufficient, ultimate power became the drug of choice. In time, I learned that to acknowledge my sin was to reflect God’s perfection through restoration. Making mistakes became opportunities to grow, adapt, and humbly offer myself as a broken tool to be used by a masterful Creator.
Enter Scene: COVID-19 and the train wreck that 2020 has become. This pandemic has thrown our country into a state of chaotic survival. I find myself resorting back to those withdrawal tendencies–-sitting back to watch and wait. Let the virus pass. Come out of hiding when I can resume the comfortable safety of what I was doing pre-COVID.
Don’t be fooled. Withdrawing is an illusion of safety. In truth, withdrawal is isolating and paralyzing, and it keeps us at the heart of our sin: thinking we are maintaining control over our lives. When the fear of making a mistake is the core of our decision making process, we’ve abandoned our faith in the God who is before us, behind us, and beside us.
Failure is the foundation of success.
Mistakes allow us to learn. Failure is the foundation of success. My heart and mind know these things separately; but good ol’ ‘’Rona has forced them to know each other intimately.
So yes, I could list my wins: increased flexibility in my processing, pursuing screen-less hobbies, scrappy creativity. But for me, the real win is choosing to say yes to what God has for me in the midst of the storm. It’s that first step, standing toe to toe with failure, and trusting in what God can do because I said YES to His calling to raise up a generation of resilient kids who choose to love Jesus for the rest of their lives. No matter what.
A word to you, Failure: Bring it on. You may bring me to my knees, but I serve a God that uses the weak and broken to bring about His Kingdom. For the fearless future of the church!
Melanie Hester is the Partner Communications Specialist at Awana. She grew up serving the church and finds it a privilege to continue doing that through both her career and as the 4’s and 5’s teacher at her local church. She has a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and desires to always be in a learning mindset. She is a wife and mom, a lover of craft coffee, and an avid shopper at Trader Joe’s.
