9 Ways to Encourage Your Child’s Talent

Suzuki? Soccer? Gourmet cooking? Cartooning?

This is the time of year when parents are signing their kids up for extracurricular activities – often with the hope that one of the activities will “click” and the child will begin a lifetime of ability and talent, whether that’s sculpting, basketball, making sushi or playing the tuba.  And this is the time of year when kids are super excited about participating … at least for a week or two. At least until they discover they actually have to practice the violin and do the routine soccer drills and …

Maybe your child is already showing ability in a particular area. Someone who is naturally musical will have an easier time with violin lessons than someone who is tone deaf. Someone who can run fast and kick hard will probably have more opportunity for soccer success than someone who doesn’t.

Still the questions come. How much should I be involved? Should I allow my child to quit? How hard should I push her? Is the class fun or miserable for him?

Hmmm … Is there a verse in the Bible that tells me I should make my child continue doing something at which she excels even if she doesn’t want to?

To that last question. Well, no and yes. The Bible has many verses about doing what we do well. Our work ethic is compared to the pesky, but busy ant. We are told to work with our hands, to work heartily and to become skilled at what we do.

And no, soccer will probably not be your child’s career, but teaching a child to be diligent at what he does now (even if that’s soccer), will give him good training in his career … and in his ministry. And who knows? Maybe someday he will minister to kids/youth through soccer camps.

Here are some thoughts.

1. Limit the amount of classes a child takes. Allow him to focus on one or two areas rather than a conglomeration of stuff that causes life to be a jumble. A child doesn’t need an activity for every spare hour of the week. He needs time to be a kid. (A child doesn’t actually need any extra activities, but they can be beneficial.) Some parents limit the choices by allowing one physical activity and one quieter activity … but always in addition to church activities.

2. Keep the church participation in place. Don’t replace spiritual training with football or band. In doing so, you are sending the message to your kids that football is more important than God’s Word. Kids need church to learn … and to form Christian friendships. (Friendships with non-Christians can be good, but kids need that Christian core.)

3. Make sure they practice or complete any class/sports assignments. If the guitar teacher assigns daily 30 minute practice time or the tennis coach assigns a 15-minute jog each morning, make sure the child carries through. Taking lessons, but not progressing is rather pointless. One family (with older, very musical kids) had a practice rule. The kids were to practice 45 minutes each day. If they did, the parents paid for the lessons. If they didn’t, they paid for the lessons. No nagging or whining. That’s the way it was and very few practice days were missed because the kids didn’t want to give up their own money.

Practicing the assigned amount of time is part of being diligent and becoming skilled at a task.

4. Think things through before you allow your child to quit. Allowing your child to quit the first time things get difficult is not always wise. Before you react to his sad story, check it out. Is he having a problem getting along with the other kids? Is the coach truly unreasonable (be honest)? Is your child simply too lazy to carry through on her teacher’s/coach’s instructions? To excel in anything (whether that’s being a parent or a soccer star or a teacher or an executive) takes work. Work takes effort. Give pointers. Help if you can. But don’t be too quick in letting her back out of something that’s doable.

5. Make a contract either written or verbal. Sometimes parents of children who often change their minds about what they want to do, make a contract. “If I sign you up for gymnastics, you agree to participate for a year.” Sometimes kids are more willing to stick it out to the end … since they can see the end. Sometimes before that end comes, the child discovers he actually likes doing what he’s doing.

6. Allow your child to quit if he’s really not suited to the lessons.  Like the piano teacher who went to the mom and said, “I think you need to pull Aidan from lessons. He’s wasting my time and your money because he has absolutely no musical ability.” Or the guitar teacher who told his student that he was getting his basement remodeled and would call him back when he was ready to resume lessons. The “boy” is still waiting three decades later. Sometimes things simply don’t work out, but don’t let one bad experience influence all other ventures in the future. And even in bad experiences, wait it out to the conclusion of the year if you can: especially if you’ve already paid for it.

7. Be involved, but not overly involved. Of course you go to the games and the recitals, but don’t second guess the coach or teacher. You can easily lose your testimony with the adult in charge, with the other parents – plus be a poor example to your child if you scream and yell about a call or about the way the lesson was taught. If you must, talk to the coach quietly and respectfully and in private.

8. Be an example of encouragement. Word has probably gotten around that you’re a Christian or at least that you attend church (because of that Sunday practice your child missed. This is a great opportunity for you, the parent, to be a testimony. Your child had a good game, but Charley’s son also made some good plays – on the other team. Go out of your way to congratulate Charley and Charley’s son. Or you noticed that Connor struggles game after game, but tries really hard. Some of the other kids (and parents) laugh at him. Take a few minutes to talk to him and tell him you admire the effort he puts into playing. Be kind to his parents. Not only are you paving the way for friendship, but you’re teaching your child good sportsmanship.

9. Do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31) Yes, whether we eat or drink or play soccer or violin, we are to do all to the glory of God.  Along with your child, brainstorm ways you can do this.

*Your child can play his instrument at church. (Depending on the size/circumstances – during a service or during a children’s class or at a talent night. Or she can play for the residents of a nursing home.)

*Your child can practice for her gourmet cooking class by inviting her relativises or friends for dinner (with your help, of course). Review good manners with her so she knows how to be polite.

*You and your child could invite the team (and parents) to your house for ice cream after a game. Make some new friends … and maybe, eventually have the opportunity to invite them to church or to get in a good discussion about God’s Word.

*Your child could draw a cartoon for the church newsletter or or make a poster for an upcoming event.

This post has been for parents, but as children’s ministry leaders, we can also encourage kids in their talents and abilities. Have a childrens/youth talent night. (You might want to review what each child will do so you don’t have any inappropriate surprises). You can also give kids opportunity to use their talents in other ways, whether that’s drama, art, writing or music.

We are to do everything to the glory of God … and that includes encouraging our kids.