“Julie just drops off Stephanie.”
“Meredith just drops off Hunter.”
“James just drops off Kyle.”
It’s not uncommon for children’s ministry leaders to find seeds of frustration creeping in when they start voicing the drop-off and pick-up patterns of parents. Truth be told, this actually can be an indicator of a lack of appreciation or a sign of disengagement from some parents’ spiritual responsibility as mom or dad. On the other hand, while some parents seem to “just drop-off” their kids, the good news is they eventually pick them up and take them home too!
If you want the parents that are impacted by your children’s ministry to be more engaged, it’s important to remember there is a spectrum of parent involvement. For some, just making it to and from church or club is a huge win spiritually. For others, weekly volunteering would better demonstrate full commitment. Is interaction or involvement with our ministry the barometer of spiritual engagement at home? Are we accurately assessing which parents are or are not spiritually responsible? Or, is there another way to look at parents’ spectrum of spiritual engagement?
A change in perspective really helps
Take a moment and stare at the picture to the left. Did you see the old woman or the young woman first? Just like this portrait can be looked at from different angles, if you change your vantage point you can immediately have more engaged parents in your ministry. There’s always more than one way to look at a situation. Disciplining yourself to view life from the perspective of another person is not always easy at first. But over time, you can grow to appreciate equally a parent’s consistency in attendance, their commitment to working with kids at home, and those who volunteer regularly.
1. View every level of engagement as valid.
The parent that drops and runs may be facing challenging circumstances no one knows about. When I was a child, my mom was deeply committed to my own spiritual growth. She held nightly devotions with my siblings and me, prayed with us regularly, and made sure we got to church three times a week. She also went to school full-time, worked full-time, and was solely responsible for caring for three young kids. Sadly, my sister was only two weeks old when my dad left. My mom suddenly had zero capacity to volunteer with our children’s ministries and needed space to breathe. Dropping her three kids off at church gave her the gift of time.
2. View every home as the primary catalyst for long-term discipleship.
The spiritual climate of the home is the primary influence that determines whether a child will continue to pursue a relationship with God and the church as adults. It’s hard to comprehend, but 93% of Awana alumni remain committed to active participation in church as adults. When surveyed about what contributed to their strong commitment, they attributed 50% to their parent’s influence, 25% to their church, and 25% to Awana.
3. View every parent as an opportunity for encouraging his or her unique fostering of faith as a family.
Every believer’s relationship with God is similar but also distinct. This is also true of families and how mom or dad expresses and cultivates discipleship at home. It’s important to remember that people tend to live up to the way we view them. Most parents are well meaning but daily find themselves busy and stressed and worried they are not doing a good job. Fact: Parenting is hard. Sometimes parents just need to hear from someone who genuinely cares and understands, “You’re right, parenting is hard. You’re not alone. We’ve got your back.”
As a children’s ministry leader, you have the opportunity every time a parent walks through your doors to remind them of the high calling they have, how well they’re doing, and let them know you’re here to serve them and their kids. The next time a parent “just drops off” a kid at church or club, take a minute to adjust your perspective and watch how the level of parent engagement goes up.
How can you shift your perspective to view parents as spiritually engaged no matter what level of personal interest or involvement they have in your ministry?
When you catch yourself feeling resentful that parents aren’t stepping up to serve,what is one way you can encourage them for the spiritual steps they are taking?
