The Question Nobody Asks about Our Children | Larry Fowler

This post was written by Courtney Wilson during Larry Fowler’s message at the Vantage Conference.

There is a question every church staff asks, it’s the infamous “Monday morning question.”
So… how many did we have?
Everybody wants to know the answer to this question – and it’s a question we ought to be asking if we believe in the Great Commission, because each number represents a child who could come to a live saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. The problem comes if it’s the only question we ask – it will lead to wrong conclusions, wrong strategy, and wrong results.

There is a second question we don’t ask, and we should be asking:
So… How often do they come?
You may have seen the fraction 1/168 – this represents the amount of time we have children on a weekly basis – 1 out of 168 hours in a week. This is not reality. In reality we get the average child 1 hour out of every 336 hours. Ugh.

What does this mean for the average child?
Larry introduced us to “Zac.”  Zac is a typical kid who goes to your church. His parents would say they are regular attenders of the 9:15 service, but if you look at the last weeks, two weeks ago he had baseball tryouts, they slept in and came to a different service the next week, and this week they are on vacation and haven’t come at all.

His small group leader has seen him 2 of the last 6 weeks.
Is Zac the exception or the norm? A quick poll of the room today at The Vantage Conference would say it’s the norm.
What is the norm? Larry painted a picture of “the norm” in some of the larger churches in America- Children attend 1.4 times per month, 80% attend less than 50% of the time, and in a church with 1231 registered kids… 52 came 3 times a month or more.

When the room looks full, it looks like ministry is going well, nothing looks concerning when you look from the stage out, but when you look at how often the kids are coming, when you look from the small group in, you see making an impact in the lives of children is incredibly difficult.

So what about Zac?
Zac loves to spend time with his friends, but none of them are at church. What is he going to say about going to church when he’s 13 years old and having friends in a place matters?
Zac enjoys the program, but doesn’t come often enough to learn much. How will the Word of God impact his life if he doesn’t know what it says?
Zac likes his small group leader, but they don’t know each other. Who will he turn to when he need another adult voice echoing what his parents say?
Zac will spend 60 times as many hours in school as he will in church. He will spend more time with his gym teacher than his small group leader.
Zac will spend as much time in media consumption in just two days as he will in church in a year. What voices will he listen to?
Zac’s parents are relying on this attendance pattern for the spiritual training of their son. Because chances are they are not receiving spiritual training themselves.

We have to face reality and asking this second question will help us face reality.

Put yourself in Zac’s shoes…
The surroundings are familiar, but the faces are not.
The environment is exciting, but he feels alone.
The lesson is engaging, but Zac doesn’t connect with it.
We will lose Zac.

There have to be some changes.

5 Things That Could Be Difference Makers for Zac

1. If Zac’s parents will commit to regular attendance.
2. If Zac’s parents will serve.
3. If Zac’s best friends are at church. Relationships drive attendance more than anything else.
4. If Zac knows an adult really cares.
5. If Zac was motivated by incentives. Larry mentioned Fellowship church in Grapevine, TX gives buttons as incentives for attendance.

3 Things Church Leaders Can Do

1. Bury the Sunday morning only approach. Look at ways to have other engagement with children.  Increase the hours of discipleship.
2. Return to an old strategy. Create opportunities for community for adults on Sunday morning.
3. Change your talk. Don’t make your ministry sound like child care.

4 Things Children’s Minsters Can Do

1. Track your numbers. Ask the second question.
2. Inform the parents. Larry’s information and a video can be found at AWANA.org/thequestion. I know I plan to send this link out to every parent in my ministry.
3. Recruit and structure for relationships. Don’t recruit for the task or the job – recruit for relationships. Tell how serving will impact kids rather than what they will be doing.
4. Reinstitute incentives.

3 Things Parents Must Do

1. Face their own attendance pattern.
2. Choose a service and stick with it.
3. Create opportunities for church friendships.

It’s time that we ask both questions – how many did we have AND how often do they come? This will maximize out impact for long term discipleship.