I asked my daughter about her school day. She told me about her history quiz, some teen drama at lunchtime and that later, while standing at her locker, her brother came up from behind and kicked her in the back of the leg.
I was so frustrated, fed up with my kids bickering and treating each other poorly. In my mind I started crafting the lecture I planned to give my son when he got home from school. My daughter could see my expression and quickly reassured me that she was not complaining about her brother. She actually thought it was cool and funny that he had kicked her.
That’s part of the mystery of sibling relationships, right? The thing that is funny one minute instigates war the next. Sibling rivalry and bickering and the bond and love that siblings share – it’s all complicated. So what principles from Scripture can we use to help our kids reset when this important relationship needs to shift back from quarrelsome to loving?
Here are four verses that my husband and I have been trying to emphasize with our kids.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:32). A concept that we’ve tried to help our kids grasp is that in relationships it is better to be kind than right. Similarly, we encourage them to treat each other as they want to be treated, even when they disagree or are frustrated with each other.
Encourage one another and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11). When our kids were little we lived in a house that had a large sliding glass door in the kitchen. We spent a lot of time in this room so I decided to paint this verse on the glass door to remind all of us to figure out ways to encourage and build each other up. This concept goes beyond being kind to actually thinking of ways to call out what we see as good in another person.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15). I’ve heard several ways families apply the concept of “my house.” Some families talk about the family inside the house and the greater world outside; others talk about how family members are teammates on the same team. The goal is to impress on kids how your family is unique and still stands together as one house. I’d like to propose a potentially unconventional application of this verse related to siblings. My husband and I have helped drive home the point using humor. We’ve acknowledged to our kids that we are just plain weird – for better or worse, our family is unlike any other family on the planet! No one understands this reality the same way they do. As brother and sister, they “get” what life is like in our family.
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another (John 13:25). The way we treat each other should be a light to the world around us. The light doesn’t have to shine perfectly but it can be a powerful beacon when our kids treat each other differently than the culture around us.
These are just four verses we’ve been trying to encourage our kids to apply to reset their attitude and actions toward each other.
What are some verses you’ve found helpful in talking with or teaching your kids about how to treat and interact with their siblings?
