Encouraging Children Towards Their True Identity in Christ

Our Names Are A Big Deal

Writing one’s name is something we do a lot. Whether at home or in school, often names are one of the first combinations of letters that children learn to recognize. It’s also one of the first words they learn to write by themselves. In preschool, I remember looking at a name tracing sheet and feeling overwhelmed that my sheet had 7 whole letters for my name that I had to trace. Then I noticed that the girl next to me, named Amy, had only 3. It felt like such injustice! We use our names all the time, but have you ever thought about how profound it is that we’re taught to look at a blank space that asks for our name and fill it in with the name we’ve been given?

We Are Taught Our Name

All of us while growing up were taught a name that we were given as ours. Whether we particularly like our name or not, over time in most cases we choose to accept it, and sometimes an individual might change their name to something new. Though we could spend a long time on that topic, what I want to focus on is how this isn’t just true with our actual given name, but also with identity — how we think about ourselves, and kids think about themselves.

Names Affect Our Identity

My 3-year old goes by a nickname, and we call her it so often that sometimes I think she’s not quite sure what name is her real name. It’s not a name we would ever want her to go by permanently but just a sweet sign of our affection for her. But it does matter to us that she knows what her actual name is, because it is part of her story and sense of identity. Imagine how much more this is important for children who are called names that are not signs of affection but signs of dislike and anger. These children need to be not only aware of what their real name is, but also their real identity.

False Narratives

If someone is living based on untrue information, that person might begin to act in a way that matches that information. For example, a child who is called “bad” may begin to act badly in a way that they wouldn’t have otherwise. This incorrect information about someone is the start of a false narrative. This happens so often in our world: Kids often bump into mistakes, and if others label them negatively by the mistakes they have made or the patterns they have been taught. These kids may end up feeling defined by their mistakes. Even as the adults aiming to help them, we may be at a loss for how to stop this process.

Our True Narrative: We Belong To God

So, what can be done? The good news is that we are all given a true narrative to live by instead. God has already given us a certain identity, and it can be summed up simply: We belong to God.

We Find This Narrative In The Bible

In the Bible we see God use people’s names to tell them something about their identity. In some occasions, He chooses to change someone’s understanding of their identity by changing their name. He also works in many lives by changing their identity without changing their name. I think my favorite might be David because we get to see more about how this played out in his prayers through the Psalms he wrote. His best thought pattern was to look to God in the midst of a difficult circumstance that caused him distress, remember that He belonged to God, and change his perspective of fear to one of trust. We see an example of this in Psalm 42:5 (ESV), where David states, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” 

We Experience This Narrative In Our Lives

This changed perspective on hardship is one that we believers today experience too. We may feel in distress, and then He brings us to a place where we see who He is through Scripture and circumstances. This leads us to understand we are His, and that this is core to our identity. God is in this business of redefining our identity according to His reality and enabling us to live out of this. He is constantly at work moving us towards a better picture of Him, and of ourselves in light of who He is.

Growing Up Is Hard.

We can see so clearly in the world around us that kids are often in difficult situations, and even in “normal” homes, the struggles of growing up are tough for kids to go through. At every age, they face challenges that feel overwhelming. It’s been established by many studies that kids have a stronger discipleship journey if they have multiple adults invested in them, but in many settings, caring adults might feel not sure how to do this. These adults may be known but not have an avenue (or permission) to speak into discipleship issues in the lives of kids. However, if you serve in Awana or another church ministry, you have a golden opportunity to help kids grow in their understanding of God and their identity as named by Him!

How Can We Encourage True Identity?

We can be part of this process of children’s identity being solidified. The biggest way this happens is through God’s direct work through Scripture. When we give an opportunity for a child to hear or read God’s word, we give a chance for them to be changed by it. He gave us Scripture for this purpose!  The Bible is full of glimpses of God, and who we are as His people. Another important way this happens is through the Christian community in the Body of Christ. When Christians gather together, as happens at church and Awana, God uses these opportunities for all of us who share a common identity to speak truth to each other. Both children and adults can speak truth to each other—Have you ever had a child say something profound to you that reminded you of a truth from Scripture you needed to hear?

Practical Steps

What are some practical ways this plays out for you and me? First of all, we need to reset our identity on the narrative of belonging to a God who loves us. What Scripture reminds you of this truth? Find it and read it often to yourself! We also need to remember that others (both kids and adults) belong to a God who loves them. Let God define that reality about the people around you, and let it influence the way you treat them. You can see all interactions as the opportunity to be part of God’s work in the lives of others. Value time with kids opening the Bible to share with them. When we expose them to Scripture, we are giving them a chance to hear about a true Biblical reality firsthand. We can do our part to redefine someone’s reality according to God’s truth. If you hear a child saying something bad about him or herself, think about what would be true instead, and speak this to them. More than we might think, we can change a child’s understanding of their identity!

Fight For All of Our True Identity

We all encounter so many ways of thinking about ourselves and our place in this world, as do the children we disciple. Let’s decide to fight back the false narratives and remind each other often of the true narrative God has given us in Scripture. This is who we are, and the kids that we serve are as well. As 1 Peter 2:9 states in the NIV, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”