Kids and Failure

Have you noticed how preschoolers have a really hard time when they feel like they didn’t accomplish a task the way they wanted to? After all, in the past few years of life, they have gone from being a helpless infant to being able to jump and climb. This big growth process can make children feel like they should keep being able to achieve what used to seem impossible. Dealing with kids and failure is helping your child when they bump up against a limitation. It can be hard for them to cope. 

The following are some ideas that might be helpful when your child is upset over something they were unable to do. 

Empathize

If you see that your child is upset over something, tell them that you notice what they are struggling with. As they are able, have them tell you more about what they are feeling, and help them feel heard. 

Introduce the word “yet” 

If what a child wants to do is just beyond what they are capable of, and he or she uses the words “I can’t do it,” help adjust this statement by adding the word “yet.” Saying “I can’t do it yet” helps state what’s true while feeling like there’s room to grow. 

Reframe what’s possible

Establish what it is they are trying to do and gauge if it is something reasonable to work towards. If the goal is something achievable, talk together about ways to work towards it. If not, then try to reframe it into something that is possible to do.  

Remind them they are loved

Kids love to be praised for the things that they accomplish, but also need reminders that they are loved just as they are. Talk with them about how God made them and that they are loved by Him, and by you too!