Getting Angry With God: Dad Longs For ALL of You

Our loving Father who created us wants us to come into His presence just as we are, even if we don’t consider our authentic self beautiful. For it is in our truth that He can do the best work. This month Awana Podcast & Video Producer Marlon Washington shares a personal testimony of how God worked in His life to heal Him of depression and anger.

Getting Angry With God: Our Dad Longs For ALL of You

In Numbers 11:15, Moses told God: “If You treat me like this, please kill me here and now — if I have found favor in Your sight — and do not let me see my wretchedness!”

In Jeremiah 20:14-15, Jeremiah told God: Cursed be the day in which I was born! Let the day not be blessed in which my mother bore me! Let the man be cursed Who brought news to my father, saying, “A male child has been born to you!” Making him very glad.

In Jonah 4:2-3 Jonah told God: “… Ah, Lord, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm. Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live!”

These are some of my favorite Scriptures. Why? Because God did amazing things through these three prophets. But these also show that the journey was sometimes horrible. During their time on their journey they got angry with God, but He didn’t strike them down with lightning. He did the opposite; He continued to teach, walk with and comfort His kids like a perfect loving Father would. Why had no one ever shown me this very real part of Scripture? Clearly, God has it in the Bible for a reason.

I have journeyed with Dad (how I refer to God) through seven years of severe depression. Depression is caused by the suppression and repression of emotions. One of the main emotions I had trained myself NOT to feel was … anger! It was very strange and uncomfortable for the Holy Spirit to ask me to just be angry with Him.

“I don’t like feeling angry!” I would often express in rebuttal. But Dad was killing three birds with one stone with His request. (He made the birds and the stone so He can bend the rules.) 

First, He invited me to let Him take me in WHOLE. He wanted to embrace all of Marlon, including my anger. So I leaned into His invitation. The diagnosis made me livid with Dad when I found out the cause of my depression was from my childhood and wasn’t my fault. But I was the only one who could help myself heal from it; there was no medicine or treatment that could get rid of my severe depression.  

Next, Dad’s invitation showed me how to be angry without sinning. As a former pastor, I can’t count the number of teens and adults I have helped destroy the concept that they can only talk to God when they have it all together. Frequently using the Scriptures above, I showed them how that concept is a lie from the pit of hell. People often never experience the full love Dad is trying to give them because they believe they can’t be themselves in His presence.

So He taught me to bring my anger directly to Him, where He could guide me to advocate for myself without cursing somebody out or setting someone on fire. (The Holy Spirit taught me self control while still allowing me to be angry.) Lastly, Dad invited me to let Him fight for my mental health. He made my brain and knows that suppressing anger, sadness and hurt was destroying it. I had to do deep and challenging emotional work with therapists and with Dad. And, the only way for some of my healing to happen was to feel all the anger I was stuffing inside. I had to feel in order to heal. And who better to safely feel with than Dad?  

As you pray with our perfect and loving Dad, I hope Hebrews 4:14-16 gives you new confidence to bring Him all that you are. He would prefer to have you no other way. Remember He can only transform the areas of your life that you let Him into.  You can’t expect Him to change the dark parts of your heart if you never talk to Him about it. 

Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16)

As you bring all of yourself to God this month, please spend some time in prayer for Awana clubs around the world. Our monthly Awana Prayer Calendar will help get you started. If you want to receive the prayer calendar in your inbox each month, sign up to be an Awana Prayer Partner.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)